I’m convinced that this doyenne of everything perfect is trying to off slightly messy, slightly disorganized me. Let me present the evidence.
1. Her holiday cookie special. Martha, really, have you ever tried making cookies with children outside of your sterile studio experience? If so, you’d know there’s no way in hell any mother can make cookies like that without either banishing their children to another part of the house with their nanny or paying someone to secretly make cookies for you. Mothers with young helpers end up with lopsided gingerbread men, misshapened thumb-print cookies and kiss cookies that are curiously missing the kiss. Just sayin’
2. Present wrapping 101. My children are lucky that their presents even end up wrapped. One year, and I swear this is true, I wrapped everything in contact paper because I forgot to buy wrapping paper. Watching the kids struggle to open the presents was rather hilarious. (David has since taken over the wrapping duties, thankfully)
3. The staging of the perfect Christmas Tree. What the F***? Who actually lays out all their ornaments, organizes them by type and creates a plan on where each one should be placed? (who with little kids, anyway?) Really? Really? Really? Our method - open the Christmas bins, find the ornaments and put anything remotely breakable above the 4’3” mark.
4. Holiday Parties. Hmmm…I’m not sure how I feel about her holiday parties. The games, the ice breakers, the forced fun. I say, break out the booze, get grandma tipsy and see what kind of hell breaks out!
I’m the kind of woman that makes Martha cringe. But I have to say, I’m happy I don’t try to live up to this woman’s standards. As a fan of her daughter Alexis’ show, I’ve come to realize that as perfect as it all seems from the outside, it isn’t necessarily so on the inside.
And with that, I’ll take messy, funny looking cookies, kinda wrapped presents, a chaotic-looking tree and loud, raucous parties any day over the stress of trying to do things “perfect”.
Just a quick note to thank everyone for all the kind emails and well wishes I’ve received. And it’s nice to know that apparently you find my klutziness as funny as I do :)
No pictures again today because, frankly, I’m still not feeling 100% and being in front of the camera doesn’t sound appealing right now.
However - there will be pictures tomorrow. I’m showing at the Hamlin School Winterfest and plan on taking some shots of my team and I in action. I’ll probably be the one writhing in the floor in pain after standing for 12 hours straight, but as I found out, I’m sure you’ll get a chuckle out of it.